I recently went through a small, yet significant break-up. Like most people, I have since been spending a lot of time thinking about my life in terms of being single and by myself, and the relationships I've had. I think about how I've been developing as a person, and how my relationship experiences have been developing as well. I don't want to delve too deeply into all of this, but I want to focus on one thought. I can see how with each relationship encounter I have, no matter how short or insignificant it may seem, I am really learning from them. I'm shedding a lot of bad habits, fine tuning my awareness of other people and myself, and learning to lean into my intuition regarding relationships.
While it's disheartening to experience rejection or a termination of a connection I've established with another person, it's good to know that with each experience I'm learning more and coming closer to what I truly need for myself in a relationship. Because sometimes we fall in love with the wrong people. And it's not that the connection isn't valid. It's just not the right thing for a long-term, healthy, fertile relationship where each person can continue to grow into their best self. I feel like there's really an exercise that needs to happen to strengthen the connection between our heart, our mind, and our intuition. And it can only happen when you know yourself, trust yourself, and can learn from your mistakes.
That being said, the silver lining for me is that I can see myself getting better at making this connection. So for me, I know that each subsequent relationship I have, I'm getting closer to the real deal. And that's a big thing. Being aware of that, I know that I'm treading into more serious grounds with each relationship I enter.
But I know I'm not there yet. So I know I need to focus on where I'm at right now. And what I started thinking, is that I realized I need to appreciate where I'm at now. Because when I do find the right person, it's probably going to be pretty solid and last a long time. And then my life, as I know it now, will not be the same.
I have spent so much of my adult life being very independent. My lifestyle will change when there's someone else to consider, to include, to compromise with. So I want to spend this time appreciating where I'm at in life, rather than lamenting what I'm missing out on. Because the tables can turn at any time.
So I've decided that for 30 days, I will post all the things I love about being single- about my independent, autonomous life, and all the things that make me happy that probably just won't be quite the same anymore if I'm in a relationship. I will post one reason each day. I started posting them on Facebook, but I decided to use this blog to post them here as well, so that if I feel like it, I can get a little more long-winded if I have more thoughts or feelings to express. And to track them all in a more cohesive way.
I also think that for whatever reason, people don't value being alone. Maybe because we have a hard time loving and appreciating ourselves. So maybe, also, someone will read some of this, and it will help them feel more confident and secure about where they're at in life. I don't know. I just feel like it's relevant stuff to share. And so I will begin.
No comments:
Post a Comment